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Here at Four Horsemen Films, we're dedicated to some of the very best and worst cinematic masterpieces you know, love, and despise. Think of us as Bad Movies for Bad People, or as a liaison to the inner sanctum of cinema. Or, just think of us as quick and entertaining reads. That's what Four Horsemen Films is all about.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Night of the Demons III (1997)

Night of the Demons III (1997)
Written By: Kevin Tenney

Directed By: Jim Kaufman

Starring: Amelia Kinkade

Country of Origin: United States of America

The Idea:
Damn. Another horror series is about to get a facelift with a supposedly clever new remake. No, I’m not talking about Friday the 13th, Halloween, or even Plan 9 From Outer Space. It has come to my attention that the entire Night of the Demons saga is finding a new home for a new generation just 20 years removed from its big “scream” debut. Somehow, the Cryptkeeper found that pun to be terrible.

With all of the movies getting remakes in the horror community, its time to open up our big book and review another film that, while not being a technical remake, was just that when it opened to the public. Before we get to all of that nonsense, we should trace our footsteps to just how we got here.

Night of the Demons was a story about a demon in the old haunted Hull House who possessed a group of youngsters looking to party. At the forefront of this Halloween nightmare was Angela, who had invited the crew to their eventual demise. Little did she know that in the midst of all of this demon possession and overt sexual molestation, she would meet her maker and be banished by the end of the evening. By the time Night of the Demons 2 rolled around, the producers attempted to expand the plot and background of their new cover girl Angela by incorporating her long lost sister, a fighting nun, and a series of wacky mishaps for horned up Catholic teenagers. Sure, the idea was mostly the same, but Night of the Demons 2 made up for it with even less sexual ambiguity and morals than its predecessor. That brings us perfectly up to speed with the plot and premise of Night of the Demons III, which can be interpreted almost scene for scene and character for character as a remake of the very first film.

Angela’s back on All Hallows Eve to take a few more souls to the grave with her while having her one night of freedom. She’ll have plenty to choose from this time around, as the kids are a little more rambunctious and rebellious than the first few bunches. That said, it should come to no surprise that in their attempts to buy (illegally) beer, they end up in a hostile showdown with a cop, shotgun, and a whole lotta trouble. When one of them (not surprisingly the black guy) is actually wounded badly the others panic and begin a wild gunfight that results in a downed (but never out) officer. As they escape, the “good” ones are entangled in a constant battle with the “bad” ones until they come to a logical hideout in Hull House. After all, it’s abandoned, and nobody would think to look there.

Sure enough, as soon as they get around to that whole “hiding” business, we manage to get the sensual Angela in on the business as she lures each one of the teens to their doom via a series of promises, sexual and otherwise. Now, if you’ve read the other two reviews from this film line, you have to be wondering what over the top sex situation is going to get itself CAPITALIZED for this review. We’ve already had LIPSTICK IN THE TITS and POSSESSED DEMON TITTIES, so the smart money would be on something involving a fanged nipple. Sorry to disappoint, but the pinnacle of stupidity in this one come when Angela corners Orson and Orson, equipped with a pistol, holds up our demon friend, threatening to blow her away. Angela reacts the same way anyone held at gunpoint would. She mimics the act of fellatio on the shaft of the pistol until magically all of the bullets are comfortably within her mouth and spit back into Orson’s hand. One more time, just for good measure. ANGELA SUCKS A GUN AS IF IT WERE A COCK. I love these movies.

Certainly, it isn’t the only highlight of this movie, but it has to be at the top of the list for cinematic excellence no matter where you look. Angela’s escapades see her form an army, just like we’ve seen before, until a scant few remain in an attempt to fight of the demon charge. Throw in a washed up detective (every bad horror movie has one) trying to get to the bottom of the liquor store shootout, and you’ve got the makings for a film that finds itself, in principle, copying and pasting itself from the late 80’s. No need to spoil the ending, you’ve probably already got it figured out.

Member of the crew who should’ve been fired: Kevin Tenney stuck it out through thick and thin with this franchise, but his efforts at writing this film were some of the laziest in movie history. We’re basically watching the same movie we’ve seen before, and even though the only remaining copy circulating on the internet is a French dub on the YouTube, its hard to save the third installment with bad voiceovers.

Best Name in the Cast: Poor Vlasta Vrana. Despite having an excellent knack for the alliterate name, this guy was doomed from the moment he stepped on screen. Vrana plays the aforementioned detective who, if you haven’t guessed already, is the tragic victim of
the Chief Wiggum named “Retirony.”

Quote of the Film:
“Do you think if I watered them they’d grow bigger?” -Abbie, in reference to her breasts. Wow. Just wow.

Final Thoughts: Let’s set the record straight: Night of the Demons III is about as original as the concept of using roman numerals to “class up” your shitty sequels. It borrows heavily from the first film in the series and gives little new information on what was developing into a nice little saga. No new pictures were made after this one failed, and up until this year, few mentions were made of the series outside of this website. That said, this movie might not live up to the camp standard of Night of the Demons or the often unheralded depth of Night of the Demons 2, but it certainly fits in with the rest of the crew for being an essential movie to watch on Halloween night. Granted, horror movies come and go, but few have that capture ability to be viewed on one particular day a year. Thankfully, when they suck hard on a gun like this, that one day is a small fraction of the calendar.

1 comment:

Madame Hook. said...

Sucking off a gun and watering boobs. Why the hell have I not watched this.